Anxiety is a normal human emotion. It warns us of possible danger and helps us prepare. For some children, though, worry becomes frequent enough to affect school, friendships, sleep, and family life. This article offers general background from the work of Dr. Camilo Ortiz, Ph.D., ABPP, a board-certified clinical psychologist whose scholarship focuses on child anxiety, parenting, and cognitive-behavioral therapy.
What anxious children may look like
CBA describes children who are frequently anxious or worried, especially about new situations or routines. They may struggle to separate from parents, find it hard to attend school on their own, need reassurance at bedtime, or avoid playdates and sleepovers. Not every child who does these things has an anxiety problem, and only a qualified professional can make that call.
Why avoidance is so tempting
When a child is upset, the natural response is to make the distress stop. A parent might answer for the child, remove the challenge, or stay close. Avoiding the feared situation brings quick relief. The catch, as cognitive-behavioral psychologists often explain, is that relief can teach a child that the situation was dangerous and that they could not have managed it. Avoidance can then keep worry going.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a well-studied approach that addresses this cycle. CBA describes CBT and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) as having strong research support for people struggling with a range of problems.
Where independence comes in
Dr. Ortiz and Dr. Matthew Fastman co-developed Independence Therapy. As described by CBA, children choose fun but challenging activities and do them on their own, while parents work with a therapist to manage their own reactions. Dr. Ortiz has described the approach as treating child anxiety through "mega-doses" of child independence. In 2024, the authors published a study of the approach in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders. As with any new approach, more research will help clarify who benefits most.
Ideas for families to think about
- Notice which situations your child avoids, and which ones you help them avoid.
- Talk with your child about activities they would like to be able to do on their own.
- Pay attention to your own worry, because children often take cues from parents.
A note on scope
This article is general education only. It is not a diagnosis or a treatment recommendation, and it does not replace an evaluation by a licensed clinician. If your child's anxiety is intense, persistent, or accompanied by thoughts of self-harm, please seek professional help promptly.
Next steps
CBA offers anxiety treatment and Independence Therapy in Great Neck, NY. To start, request a free phone consultation or call (516) 858-4328. CBA is an out-of-network practice and does not directly take insurance.